Issue number 3

Installed: 01-7-2000

News Desk

Enlightening stories culled from the worlds press. All of the following have genuinely been published at some time.

	A dozen marksmen from the Los Angeles Police Department SWAT unit surrounded the Sundowner Motel in Pasadena at 3a.m. last Tuesday after the owner reported hearing a gunshot from one of the cabins. When officers forced the door, the terrified and then somewhat embarrassed occupant explained that his inflatable companion had burst.
	Ghana is to change over to driving on the right. The change will be made gradually.
	In the handicrafts exhibition at Wordsley Community Centre, the contribution of the Misses Smith was "smocking and rugs" and not "smoking drugs" as stated in last week's report.
	While a nurse was bathing off the coast of Scotland she was caught by the tide and, keeping her presence of mind, floated five miles to the Isle of Wight coast, where she swam ashore.
	A cast of thousands including racehorses, bulls, chickens and dogs will join a parade celebrating the 100th birthday of the Queen Mother. Her daughter Elizabeth will not be one of them.
	A pot-luck dinner was held at the city park, one block north of the museum, as a fund-raising event to finance further repairs and improvements to Mrs Charles Seeger, museum committee Chairman.
	The Cape Hatteras region, developed as America's first national seashore park, was visited by 306,328 persons, three times the attendance for the previous year when no attendance figures were kept.
	Today's weather: A depression will mope across Northern areas during the day.
	Classifieds
	Organic horse manure, approximately 50 tons. Free to genuine person, must collect. Product of practical joke.
	For rent: Brixham 3 bedroom family house near the sea, accomodating 518.
	For sale: a cross-cut saw by a Willard man with newly sharpened teeth.

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