Issue number 4

Installed: 01-8-2000

Proposition:

The Earth is an Apple Pie

First of all, I must make it clear that I am not referring to the home-made variety or even the mass produced individual ones as made by Mr Kipling, but instead to the variety made famous by such fast food firms as McDonalds which bear little or no resemblance to the traditional type.

Let us examine the evidence:

• The Earth is said to have a "crust" which bears little or no resemblance to conventional pastry. These apple pies also have a "crust" which bears little or no resemblance to conventional pastry.
• The temperature of the surface of the Earth is generally at a level acceptable to humans. The surface of an apple pie is at a generally acceptable temperature for humans.
• The temperature of the centre of the Earth would instantly incinerate a human, as would that of an apple pie.
• The Earth's centre is known as the core. Are we to believe that this is merely a coincidence?
• Biblically, Eve tempts Adam with the forbidden fruit. This is commonly taken to be an apple. If this is the case, then this is the equivalent of telling him to eat dirt. Obviously not what any Creator would wish.

All this is pretty conclusive evidence. If we are to accept the planet-apple pie linking however, it suggests that the link should work in both directions. This implies that apple pies are in fact miniature planets. One could even say that they might actually be some form of larval stage in the development of a new planet. In nature, there are very few examples of species where the parents invest valuable time in protecting their young to ensure their survival to maturity. In most cases, the parents rely on increased numbers of children on the basis of safety in numbers. With many young, there is a greater likelihood that some will survive. Is this what is happening with the apple pies? The Earth is producing a great many apple pies, accepting that some will never make it to maturity, however a small number may escape and go on to fully form into planets of their own right.

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